From The Back Of Beyond
by Callisto-HK
Summary: His whole body was on fire, but he couldn't remember what had happened to him. *Spoiler alert for the end of Season 7* Dean is finally back from Purgatory, but can everything get back to normal? How long has he been down? /Set after the end of season 7. Rated T for language./
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N:** I'm pretty sure you all, in your minds, have gone through different scenarios about season 8; this is kinda what I like to see happen._

_The first chapter is really short._

_**Warning:** Spoiler alert for the end of Season 7!_

_Sorry for any mistakes, they're all mine._

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**. From The Back Of Beyond .**

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Everything hurt.

His whole body hurt like a mother and he couldn't even remember what the hell had happened to him.

_Or_ he _thought_ that he couldn't remember; because a second later, despite the white hot pain that he was feeling, he was on his feet, ready to fight whatever creature that was hiding behind the bush, under the mud or above the tree.

He looked around; sharp eyes checking every single corner.

But no, there wasn't anything. Not even a single red glitter which was the sign of a monster behind the bush.

For the thousandth or the millionth time he thanked whatever gods who was in charge, for those red eyes. If the monster's eyes weren't so shining his situation would've been way worse.

Something was different, though.

It was dark and he sure was in the middle of a creepy forest. But it wasn't as creepy as it used to be. It was different.

Somehow it felt more earthly; less like the underworld.

"The hell?" His eyes widened as the realization hit him. "I'll be damned."

And regardless of the excruciating pain, he started to laugh. He laughed so hard that it brought him to his knees and then the laughter turned to uncontrollable sobbing.

He had made it.

He was back on the earth.

He was free and he could see Sam.

And that was the last thing Dean Winchester thought before the darkness took him under.

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**... TBC ...**

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_**A/N: So what do you think? Please let me know...  
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**_I probably will be able to update the next chapter sometime tomorrow. :)_  
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	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N:** **Thank you all for your reviews, alerts and favorites. I was kinda surprised! You made my day! ^_^ **_

_As I promised you, the second chapter is here, hope you enjoy reading it. :)_

_Again, all mistakes are mine. Hope there's not too many of them.  
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A bird was singing.

A freaking bird was singing. But...

There was no freaking bird in the freaking Purgatory. Was that a new trick? A new monster? That would be stupid.

So what the hell was going on?

Oh, right. He had made it. He was back.

Dean's eyes snapped open and the sunshine almost made him close them again.

Almost.

Because, hell, more than thousand times he'd said to himself that he'd give _anything_ to see a ray of light one more time.

And here, he was lying on the ground, in a _real_ forest and sun shining down on his body, making his pale skin tingle. Nothing could make him close his eyes again.

If this was another dream, Dean didn't want it to be over. Well, of course anyone wouldn't want a dream like that to end, but he didn't want to miss the good feeling of the cool breeze and sun rays on his skin.

And then he started to laugh again. And somewhere at the back of his mind, he was glad no one was around to witness that. He didn't want people to think that he'd lost his mind, after all.

Slowly but cautiously he sat up and looked around. The pain had become more bearable, but it still was there and it took extra effort for him to get up from the ground.

It was just then that he realized he was lost. How the hell was he supposed to find his way home? Where the hell was he, anyway? How long had he been down? Were things even the same, anymore?

He remembered that when he'd gotten back from hell, it had only been 4 months here on earth. But that was different. Purgatory was nothing like hell.

_'How many people can compare two things like coming back from Hell and __coming back from_ Purgatory? How many people can understand_ it?'_ He thought while looking down and assessed himself.

He didn't look exactly clean and decent but it was acceptable; if anyone saw him, they wouldn't think that they had met George from '_George of the Jungle'_.

That thought made him laugh again.

Boy, he hadn't done that, at all for... For God knew how long. Laughing felt good.

And then his stomach growled loudly.

Bewildered, Dean looked down at his stomach and laughed harder. He just couldn't stop himself. Every stupid thing looked hilarious at that moment; and the feeling of hunger? He hadn't felt _that _one for a long time, too. Actually, he hadn't felt _many_ things for a long time.

Even though he'd been with his body down in Purgatory, somehow his needs had stayed upside on the earth. The only things he could feel down there was pain and exhaustion.

No real need for food, which was good if you asked him, because there was no way he'd hunt a monster for dinner and the so called plants didn't look that appetizing.

And he sure hadn't felt the need to... Eww, he needed to urinate. _Like NOW!_

After relieving himself, Dean looked around to find something to eat. Anything would be good, so he was more than happy when he found a thimble-berry bush.

Boy, it was the best thing he'd ever tasted. No burger tasted like that. Thimble-berry was **_so_ **going to be his favorite food after that.

A sound and then a movement from the other side of the bush made Dean jump to his feet, fully back in fighting mood. He looked around and grabbed a broken branch with a sharp head and cautiously moved back from the bush.

"Get the hell out, you fugly bastard." he roared, his mind back to his endless night in purgatory.

When a raccoon jumped out of the bush and ran away, Dean froze in his place. He gulped and the branch fell from his trembling hand.

Taking a good look around, he felt really stupid for reacting like that._ 'There isn't a monster behind every bush here, you dumbass'_ He chastised himself and took a shaky breath.

He needed to get the hell out of that forest. He needed to find civilization, to find Sam and preferably to find out what had happened to Cass.

Another night in that forest and he was sure that he would completely lose it.

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Wandering around wasn't going to help him. Everywhere looked the same with trees and bushes, more or less; so Dean decided to dig into his memory and remember what his father had taught him during his childhood for the times when he was lost in a forest.

River.

That was the key. He had to find a river and follow the stream and he sure would find some sort of civilization in his way.

All he had to do now was listening.

_'Good thing my hearing has sharpened during my stay in the _'_Monster-Inn'.'_ he thought to himself.

Walking quietly around he listened and observed the way the plants had grown and finally found what he'd been looking for.

The sight of water in front of him reminded him how thirsty he was and he absently wondered how he hadn't felt it before.

After drinking what he thought should have been half of the water of the river, he finally stood up and followed the river down.

Although his body still ached and was demanding him to stop and rest, he knew that he couldn't spend another night in that forest, so he kept going and when he finally saw a few houses on the horizon, the sun was setting down.

Checking his appearance once again, Dean walked towards one of the houses to knock, hoping that whoever lived there wouldn't mind lending him a cell phone.

That wasn't too much to ask, was it?

Suddenly a scary thought popped into his head and stopped him in his tracks. What if he'd spent too long in the basement? What if his appearance was bizarre for these days? What if there was no Sam-

He started shaking at that thought and before he knew, he was on the ground, convulsing violently.

He could hear voices in the background, but he'd lost the control of his body and no matter how hard he barked at it to stop shaking, it didn't work.

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**... TBC ...**

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**_A/N: How was it this time? Let me know what you think?_  
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	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N:** Thank you all for your support. :)_

_Forgive me for any mistakes.  
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Something wet and soft was touching his face, it felt nice but weird at the same time.

He wasn't supposed to feel good; nothing was supposed to feel nice. He was in the damn Purgatory for crying out loud. And that thought startled him and before he knew what was happening, he'd his hand around a girl's throat, cursing under his breath.

The scream he heard from his left, brought his wary mind back to the present and he immediately let go of the girl and pushed himself back, his big green eyes assessing his surrounding, calculating his chances of survival.

"It's alright, Sir. We won't hurt you." the petite girl rubbed her throat and carefully reached out to touch Dean's shoulder.

"Whu- How? Where?" Dean panted.

"You need to take a deep breath." she guided and then turned her gaze towards the source of the scream Dean had heard earlier. Dean followed her gaze and found a little boy standing by the door frame, shaking like a leaf.

"Tony, I need you to go and bring me some water. Can you do that for me?" the girl asked.

The boy, Tony, nodded and bit his lower lip before walking away.

"I'm sorry. Didn't mean to hurt you or scare your son." Dean looked down.

"My son?" the girl couldn't help snorting. "Do I look _that_ old?"

Green eyes looked up and studied the girl. She really didn't look old enough to be the mother of a boy like the one he'd just met, but what else was he supposed to say.

"He's my little brother." She smiled. "And don't worry, it wasn't your fault. I shouldn't have touched you like that, I should've known better. It's just that you looked feverish and after that seizure-"

"Seizure? _I_ had a seizure?" Dean's eyes widened.

"Yeah?" the girl looked a little unsure. "You were close to our house and I was coming back from the stable when I saw you hit the ground. You don't have any history of seizure or epilepsy?"

"No." Dean blinked. '_Just great. That's exactly what I need in this situation. A fucking seizure.'_

"Well, Umm, you shouldn't borrow problems just yet. It might be just a reaction to some external stimuli, or exhaustion or infection, or-" she stopped at the amused look on Dean's face and blushed. "My father is a physician. Sorry for babbling. I've heard these things so many times that-... Well... I'm Kelly." she offered suddenly.

"Dean." he grinned.

Kelly smiled warmly. "I should go see what's keeping Tony so long."

Dean nodded but then suddenly remembered why he was there and grabbed her arm. "What year are we in?"

"Excuse me?" the girl was clearly taken aback.

"The year. What year is it?" Dean repeated, like it was the most common question.

"Well, I've been asked some weird questions before, but this one wins the prize for sure." she shrugged. "Right. The year. Umm, 2012?"

"2012?" Dean asked.

"Yeah. What? You're from 2090? Or maybe from 1990." she studied Dean. "You don't look like a '_back-from-the-future'_ type of guy and you're way too good looking to be from 1990s."

Dean beamed, "Why, thanks."

Kelly laughed loudly. "Only if I was older, or you were younger. How old are you, anyway? 31? 32?"

This time Dean's face fell. How old was he, really? Well, at least he didn't look like an 80 year old man; that was reassuring, even though it was kinda mysterious. He sure had spent longer that a few days down in purgatory; or even longer than a few months or years.

"What's the date exactly?"

"You've hit your head, haven't you?" Kelly frowned. "It's November 21st."

Dean gulped. "It's been six months." he murmured.

"Six months what?"

It was so easy to forget that he wasn't alone. "Umm, nothing. Nothing. You were about to check on your brother. But, can I make a phone call? I need to call my brother."

"Sure. Umm, the phone is over there. Can you walk?"

"Of course I can."

"Well, you looked in a lot of pain when you were unconscious. I called my Dad. He'll be home shortly."

"Thanks, but you didn't have to. I won't stay long."

"Nonsense." the girl sounded older and wiser than she looked.

"Um, just one more question. _Where_ are we?"

"Creek Road, Glenmoor." Kelly answered.

"Right. Thanks."

Kelly smiled widely before leaving the room to look for her brother.

Dean called the number he knew so well that even hell or purgatory couldn't erase it from his mind. A few rings later, a tired voice that was nothing like Sam's answered the phone.

"Hello?"

Dean's voice hitched in his throat. He remembered every second of the past- '_decades_? C_entury_? _Whatever_', when he'd wished he could hear _that_ voice again.

"Hello? Who's this?" Sam called again.

Dean collected himself and croaked, "Sammy?"

The one on the other end of the line fell silent. For a second Dean though that Sam had hung up, but then Sam's voice filled his ears. "Dean?" he sounded unsure.

"Sammy." It seemed like Dean had forgotten every other words.

"It's not funny." Sam suddenly growled in the phone.

"No. No, Sam. It's really me. Please. Don't hang up."

And more silence.

"Sammy? It's me."

"Dean?" Sam swallowed. "How? Where? I don't-... I..."

And Dean could feel that his brother's voice quavering.

"Glenmoor." He took a deep breath and started again. "I'm in Glenmoor. I'll send you the exact address. Come here. OK? I can't- I just-"

"I know. I know. Don't go anywhere. I'm coming." And it sounded like Sam was getting his stuff together. "Dean?"

"Yeah?" Dean smiled.

"That really you?"

He felt like teasing his brother, but thought it wasn't the right thing to do at that moment. "Yeah, Sammy. It really is me."

"Don't go anywhere. Can I-.. Can I umm... Maybe-"

"Sammy?"

"Can I call you back at the same number?"

"Um, yes, I think? I mean, I'm at... at Someone's house and well, they seem like good people."

"I'll be there shortly."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Is Cass there with you?"

Dean closed his eyes. "No. Actually I don't know where he is. We'll talk when you get here. OK, Sam?"

"Sure. Dean?"

"Yeah?" Dean chuckled.

"How are you? You alright?"

"I'm fine, Sam." Dean sighed. That wasn't really a lie. He could walk and talk, after all. Right? "I gotta go, now. I'll see you. OK, Sammy?"

"OK. Do you really-"

"Yes, Sam. I really have to go. Can't stay on the phone till you get here." Dean actually laughed at that. Boy, it _really_ felt good to laugh.

"OK, Umm. I guess you're right."

"You haven't lost your brain cells, Sammy. Have you?" That was Dean's way to ask how his brother was doing.

And that made Sam laugh. "No, I haven't. I'm fine. I'll see you."

"Yeah, bye."

"Bye."

Dean hung up the phone and sighed.

"You haven't seen him for a while, eh?"

Dean didn't turn around. "That clear?"

"Kinda." Kelly shrugged. "Here. I've got you some water. Turned out Tony is too scared of you to come back to this room."

Dean winced. "I'm sorry."

"Not your fault. He, Ah-" she took a deep breath. "A few month ago he'd a umm, bad experience? He's still a little shaky."

Dean looked at her, feeling like she needed to talk about it.

And she did, so she continued when Dean silently gave her permission. "He was in the car with our Mom. Some junkie attacked them for some stupid cash. He witnessed the guy hitting our Mom and running away and well, you can guess the rest."

Dean grimaced and nodded. "It'll get better. You know?"

"It will?" Hopeful eyes met Dean's.

"Yes. He's just too little and scared now, but when he grows up, things will get better."

"I hope so. I can't go anywhere; I have to always take care of him. Don't get me wrong, I love him, but sometimes... Sometimes-"

"Sometimes you need to be alone, or spend your time with your friends. Have some time for yourself."

Kelly nodded thoughtfully.

"Here, you need this more than me." Dean offered her the glass of water.

Kelly rubbed her eyes and chuckled. "Sorry."

"Nah, it's OK. I know the feeling." Dean shrugged. "I do." he reassured when Kelly narrowed his eyes.

"Thanks."

Dean chuckled. "I still owe you a lot. So, forget it."

"Maybe you should get some sleep; my Dad will be home soon and then he'll help you with your pain."

Dean didn't know it was obvious that he was in pain, but sleeping sounded so good that he couldn't resist the idea. "I think you're right. Actually I can catch some shut eye."

"Good. I'll go and make some dinner. Mom is on vacation, so it's just us. I'll cook something really good for you, you'll love it." she sounded determined and then walked out.

"Believe me, girl, right now, I'll love it even if you give me rabbit food." Dean murmured and lay down on the bed and within a second his mind gave into exhaustion, even though he still looked completely alert.

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**... TBC ...**

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**_Well, what do you think now?_  
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**_And yes, I assumed that it was May when _****_Dean went to Purgatory;_** you know, at the same time that the show ended.  


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	4. Chapter 4

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The sound of the front door opening and closing was what woke Dean up, and it was a good thing in Dean's opinion.

He wasn't sure if Kelly's father would be as forgiving as his daughter if he jumped and grabbed his throat like he did earlier with Kelly. He was just hoping that he hadn't squeezed too hard to leave marks on the young girl's throat.

The man entered the room and smiled when he saw Dean trying to sit up. "Hi, I'm Bill. You must be Dean."

"Hi." Dean smiled back. "Yeah, unless your daughter has brought another miserable guy inside to take care of."

Bill laughed. "Yeah, she does that a lot. I'm kinda used to it. But today it's just you."

"Well, good to know that I'm special." Dean quipped. "Sorry for the inconvenience."

"Nonsense." Oh, so the girl had learned it from her Daddy. "So, Dean, what happened to you?"

_'Purgatory happened.'_ It was on the tip of his tongue, but Dean really didn't know how to answer that question without looking insane. "Will you believe me if I say I don't know?"

"Kelly said you were asking for the _year_ and the date. I'd say yes." Bill nodded.

"Kelly didn't leave anything for me to tell you, did she?" Dean coughed.

Bill laughed again. "Kelly does that a lot, too. Speaking, that is. She's a good girl."

"You _knew_ I was here. That's why you added it." Kelly's voice came from the doorway, as she appeared with a mock glare on her face.

"Doesn't make it any less true. How was your day, sweetie?" the man turned around and gave his daughter a hug.

"You mean she told you just about _me_ on the phone? Nothing else about her day?" Dean couldn't help asking. He felt like an intruder and that was the only way he knew to change the atmosphere of the room.

"Nah, it's just a routine. I ask the question and she repeats what she'd told me on the phone. I don't think she has anything else to add, it's not even 10 minutes since our last talk." the father laughed and nudged his girl. "Go and let us have some privacy, will you, honey?"

"Sure." Kelly nodded and left them alone.

"So, you don't remember what happened. I can't help you much, here, you know? You probably need an MRI and some other scans. These bruises might need some serious attention." Bill said, examining the bruised area on Dean's head and neck.

"No. No. I... I've had worse. No need for overreacting." Dean brushed it off.

"What overreacting? You had a seizure, man. And judging by what Kelly told me, this has been your first time. It's not a good sign, now move and let me check your torso."

Dean paled; how was he supposed to explain it if there were any scars? And he could say there were some. The bruises on his face and neck were there, why would his scars go away? "No, no, man. Look, I'm good. I'll just go."

"Whoa, whoa." Bill pulled his hand away. Fortunately he'd had some experiences with people with intimacy issue who weren't comfortable when touched and he automatically put Dean in the same category. "Hey, It's OK. I'm not gonna touch you if you don't want me to."

Dean realized the doctor's mistake and decided to go with it. He gulped and looked around before pushing himself a little further away from the other man. "I'd appreciate it." he panted.

Man, he so deserved an Oscar for that. He grinned inwardly, feeling good to know he hadn't lost his touch.

"OK, what about we grab some dinner and see what happens next, huh? Maybe tomorrow morning?"

Dean looked hesitant, but nodded. He would have time to think of something till the next day; he always could simply refuse.

In the Kitchen, Kelly turned around and looked at Dean. "How are you?"

"Fine."

"Umm, your brother called. Sam, right?"

Dean's eyes shone. "Yeah."

"Well, I told him you were resting and I think he got kinda disappointed that he couldn't talk to you, but I reassured him that you were alright. Anyway, I sent him the address of our place. I think he said something about being here early morning." The last part was mostly addressed to her Dad, and then she added, "he called me Ma'am." she giggled. "And _he-_ "she pointed to Dean." thought I was Tony's Mom."

"I'd say you should look upset or offended." The older man teased. "Does she look that old?" he asked Dean.

Dean laughed quietly. "I really want to _eat_ whatever is there and smells so good." he nodded towards the stove. "Can you not bring me into your fight?"

"You're lucky I'm so forgiving." Kelly said, showing that she'd just realized that it wasn't really good if everyone thought she was old.

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A night with a real family and their banter would always be counted as a fun night in Winchesters' book; such a night after coming back from freaking Purgatory? It was better than Heaven itself. Seriously, Dean had been to Heaven, it wasn't _that _good.

Just if Sam was there with him.

Dean didn't get much sleep that night.

Not that he wasn't tired or didn't trust Bill and his kids; no, it was more of a habit. When he thought that he was alone and no one was watchful, he couldn't sleep or shut his eyes; at least not before he'd pass out from exhaustion or pain.

But even though he hadn't been able to get much rest, he wasn't feeling tired in the morning. The first ray of sun light was so shiny that Dean couldn't resist stepping out of the house to feel it on his skin.

It felt _SO_ good.

But what he heard next was incomparable with it.

The roar of his beloved car. His _baby_.

Was that true?

He turned around and was stunned by the beauty of the car that approached the house.

What he didn't expect was to feel his eyes sting. Damn stupid tears.

When Sam stepped out of the car, Dean felt a single tear run down his cheek. This was the moment he'd lived for; the moment he'd seen in every single fitful dream he'd had; the moment that had pushed him forward and hadn't let him give up.

Man, was it worth it.

Sam wasn't much better. Even though he still had his doubts and it had been a long time since he really showed any feelings, he couldn't help but feel extremely happy.  
He looked stunned and dumbfounded. His brother was really standing in front of him.

In flesh and blood.

Tears started to stream down his face and he forgot all precautions when he almost ran the little distance between them and pulled Dean into a fierce hug.

For an instant the pain in Dean's body threatened to take over, but he fought it and hugged his brother back. _'If I died at this moment, I'd die a happy man.' _he thought to himself.

Sam pulled away and stared his brother in the eyes. "Is that really you?"

Dean couldn't help laughing. "I'll kick your ass later for not making sure I'm not some kind of monster before the chick flick moment."

Sam punched him and laughed through the tears and hugged his brother again. "O God, Dean. I'm... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything."

Dean reluctantly pulled away. "What the hell are you talking about? What are you sorry for?"

"For you spending this whole time in Purgatory; for not being able to help you, for not bringing you out. For letting them hurt you."

"Shut up." Dean frowned. "You clearly have lost your mind. It wasn't your fault and I know that you've tried everything. God help me, if you-" he stepped back and gasped. "You didn't do anything stupid, did you?"

"Like making some deals? Oh, no. I just worked on old sigils and chants."

Dean studied his brother.

"Is that how you got out?" Sam asked. "I mean, I had no idea you were out and didn't know if anything I ever did was helpful."

"I'm not sure." Dean sighed. "Umm, let me say goodbye to these people and we can go and talk more. I don't wanna be around here any longer." he looked around and Sam caught a jaded look in his eyes.

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"You're leaving?" Kelly asked sadly as soon as Dean walked back inside, leaving Sam out.

Dean smiled softly. "I've put you to enough trouble, don't you think?"

"Don't be silly." she pouted.

Dean turned to Bill and smiled. "Thanks, Doc. For everything. I don't know what would've happened if your daughter wasn't there to help me."

"Someone else would have." Kelly muttered. "We're not exactly living in the middle of nowhere."

Bill laughed at his daughter and turned his attention back to Dean. "Don't mention it, I just wish you'd let me give you a quick look over. You don't look so good."

Dean smiled. "I told you, I'm good. I know my limits." _'Thank God, I left Sam out. He wouldn't have stayed silent if he could hear me.' _he thought.

"Why don't you bring you brother in? You can leave after breakfast. He must be tired after all that driving." Kelly said tentatively.

Bill nodded and didn't even wait for Dean's answer as he walked out and was back with Sam in a minute.

"Hi." Sam smiled at Kelly, his eyes were red rimmed; but if anyone noticed, they didn't say a word. "I'm Sam. Thanks for... Umm, you know-"

Kelly shrugged. "No big deal. I'm Kelly." she smiled. "Now come on. Dad should leave soon and I don't like you guys think I can't cook when you eat your breakfast cold."

"I think you're safe. I already know you're a great cook." Dean grinned.

Kelly blushed and walked away.

He sure hadn't lost his touch. Dean thought happily before pushing Sam forward and following Kelly into the Kitchen.

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**... TBC ...**

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**_Tell me what you think? :)_**

**_I hope you haven't found Dean and Sam too OOC, I know that recently they haven't shown many feelings, but I thought this time was different. Plus, I really like to see some true brotherly love! It's the best opportunity.  
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	5. Chapter 5

As soon as they sat in the car, Dean found himself drenched in what he guessed should be holy water. He'd really started to hate finding himself in that position.

"Now, Sam? Really? Why not waiting another decade _then_ making sure it's really me?" he sounded annoyed.

Sam shrugged. "Sorry? Can't be too careful." he smiled sheepishly and toyed with the silver knife in his hand.

Rolling his eyes, Dean grabbed the knife and cut his lower arm. "Happy?"

Sam took the knife back and once again pulled Dean into a hug.

Not that Dean didn't feel the same or wasn't stupidly happy to be back with Sam, but he couldn't keep the sarcastic remark from leaving his mouth. "What happened to you, Samantha? It's not the first time we've been apart."

Sam pulled back and started the engine. Dean had let him drive, knowing that he was too tired to risk his baby ending up in a ditch.

Sam sighed. "I know. It's just... This time it kinda seemed different, like it really was over." He whispered the last word. "There was nothing to work on. It took me _weeks_ to even realize where you were and then getting you out seemed even harder. I didn't know if you were alive and I didn't even have your body and-" he sighed again. "We don't have many allies left and Purgatory's door isn't exactly easy to open."

Dean nodded his understanding. "I know." he said in a low voice and leaned his head back and despite his effort to comfort his brother, before he knew he was out for the count.

Apparently having Sam by his side was all the reassurance he needed to know they were safe and he could actually get some sleep without worrying about being attacked any second; _that_ and being safely inside the Impala!

Waiting for his brother to say something else, Sam glanced at him, only to find him fast asleep. The lines of pain were visible on his face. The older man looked so tired and spent that Sam didn't knew if he could ever overcome that exhaustion.

He had no idea what had happened to his brother down in Purgatory but even without looking at Dean's face, he could say that it had been no walk in the park. It probably had been worse than spending time in that cage with Lucifer.

There, he had to deal with just Lucifer and Michael and yes, one might think it can't get any worse. But facing all monsters at once in one place? Purgatory sounded way scarier. He just wished he could get Dean to talk about it.

There must be a lot of scars on his brother's body and soul; and Sam didn't even know how long Dean had spent down there and how he'd escaped.

They had a long way to go, but Dean was alive and Sam was determined to keep it that way and make sure his brother was on the road to recovery. He might not have been fully there when Dean had come back from hell, but he wanted to make sure that it was different this time.

...

They were on the road for hours and when Sam finally pulled over in a motel parking lot, he expected almost anything but what happened next.

One second Dean was completely out; his head resting against the passenger side window; the next he was over Sam, pushing him to the door with his knee and squeezing his throat with one hand while reaching for the knife with his other one. Sam didn't even know how Dean had mustered up so much strength.

He started to see stars and felt lightheaded, but then the pressure was gone and instead of being over him, Dean was sitting back, staring at him with wide eyes, panting like he'd been running for miles. "Sammy?"

Sam coughed and rubbed his neck.

"Sorry. Sorry." Dean started to apologize, his eyes filled with fear and remorse. "I'm sorry, Sammy. Got confused for a second there. I really didn't-"

"Dean. Dean, hey." Sam jumped forward and grabbed Dean's shoulder and squeezed it until his brother stopped mumbling apologies and his eyes got locked on Sam's. "It's OK, Dean. I know. You don't need to explain or apologize."

Dean closed his eyes and silently reached for the door handle and pulled it to open the door. He stepped out without another word, leaving Sam in the car; bewildered and shell shocked.

After the first shock subsided, Sam got out of the car and went to get them a room. When he came back, he found Dean still leaning against Impala's hood, staring at nothing in particular. The picture was so sad that Sam felt his heart clenched.

He called his brother's name to tell him that they could get inside, but Dean was clearly lost in his thoughts. So Sam reached out and touched his shoulder.

If he thought that Dean's reaction was bad inside the car, he was awfully wrong and he immediately realized it by what happened next. Dean yelped before turning around and punching Sam so hard that sent him crashing to the ground two feet away.

And unlike the last attack, Dean didn't look at him with regret; this time he just stared down at him for a few seconds and suddenly grabbed his head tightly and fell to the ground himself.

Within a second Sam was by his brother's side, still cursing himself for not learning his lessons and startling his brother like that. Of course after spending such a long time in purgatory, you would be jumpy, what the hell was he thinking touching Dean like that?

Dean's low moan interrupted his thoughts and before he knew what was happening, Dean started to convulse in his arms. The only thing that Sam could do was keeping his brother down so he wouldn't hurt himself further, all while tears slid down his cheeks.

Sam wasn't sure how long it took, it felt like hours, but it couldn't have been more than a minute or two before Dean stopped shaking and went completely lax in his arms.

"One minute and twenty five seconds." he heard someone announced and turned around the find the motel clerk standing behind him, looking at them with so much understanding and sadness in his eyes. "You want me to call 911? Or I can help you move him into your room." he offered.

Sam blinked. "Um, Room is fine. Thanks."

"No problem."

Then both men grabbed Dean's shoulders and legs and moved him to their room; to Sam's surprise, it didn't seem like Dean had lost any weight. If anything he was a bit heavier than Sam remembered which wasn't that weird considering how more muscular Dean looked.

A few hours later, Sam was sitting by Dean's bedside, struggling with his own thoughts.

Seizures were bad; really _really_ bad. But Sam couldn't get Dean to the hospital. Not without knowing a little more about things that had happened the past six months.

So he tried to check Dean for any other injuries and his breath got caught in his chest when he saw the state of Dean's chest and torso. Back and front Dean was covered in bruises and scars. Some of them were old and faded, but some were still new and fresh.

A clear sign of fighting monsters with bare hands.

Damn, had Dean really fought so long with bare hands? What weapon did he have along? Ruby's knife? Was it even useful in Purgatory? Things couldn't be like they were on earth. Man, there were too many questions he had from his brother.

That was when Dean started to stir.

"Hey, Dean? Can you hear me?" Sam had finally learned his lessons. He kept his distance from the older hunter and kept just calling him.

Finally Dean's eyes opened and fixed on Sam; it took him some seconds but he finally remembered where he was. Or _mostly_ remembered. "Huh, So it wasn't a dream." he told to himself. "Where are we?"

"Motel?" Sam suggested. "How are you feeling?"

"Like a cat had died in my mouth." Dean wrinkled his nose.

"You had a seizure." Sam looked nervous.

"Again?" Dean pushed himself up. "Damn, that can't be good."

"What do you mean '_again'_?" Sam's eyes widened. "This had happened before? When? How long have you been back, anyway? Did you go to that house straight? What happened when you got back? How long where you in that house? What happened to you while you were there?"

"Whoa, one question at a time, will you?" Dean rubbed his temple. "Pick one."

"Dean." Sam warned.

"Fine." Dean rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I've had another seizure. it happened yesterday! Of course, I've no way to know that. Kelly told me; apparently it happened when I was about to knock on their door and ask for help." he shrugged. "And well, I woke up in the middle of a forest. I thought I was still-... You know-" his eyes went glassy as he stared into space.

"Hey Dean. Dean?" Sam called quietly

Dean shook his head, trying to clear away the thoughts that buzzed in his brain like flies. "Yeah, Umm, I remember that I followed the river down and found myself in front of Kelly's house. It was last night, so I guess I've been back for two nights now."

Sam nodded. "Dean? How long were you in Purgatory?"

Dean frowned and was silent for a rather long time before answering, "I..." he sighed. "I don't know. It's complicated."

Sam arched an eyebrow. "Complicated how?"

"Can I have a beer, first?" he asked hopefully with a so innocent tone that Sam couldn't help smiling and getting up to grab a beer from the car.

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**... TBC ...**

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**_So, they're finally alone! What do you think? How was this chapter?  
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**_I'm sorry for any mistakes.  
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	6. Chapter 6

_"Dean? How long were you in Purgatory?" Sam asked cautiously._

_Dean frowned and was silent for a rather long time before answering, "I..." he sighed. "I don't know. It's complicated."_

_Sam arched an eyebrow. "Complicated how?"_

_"Can I have a beer, first?" he asked hopefully with a so innocent tone that Sam couldn't help smiling and getting up to grab a beer from the car._

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Sam got back with their beers and waited for Dean to drink.

"So?" he finally asked when Dean had finished one beer and was in the middle of the second one.

"Well... It... It wasn't like on earth for sure, and it was nothing like hell or heaven. Time didn't mean anything in Purgatory." Dean searched Sam's eyes for understanding, sighing when all he found was confusion. "Like I said, it's too complicated to explain. There was no sun to come up or go down so you can count the days. And it wasn't like Hell that you could somehow sense the day when it ended and another one began. It was different. It was always dark. Always night. No sun, no light, no-" Dean's voice was getting lower and lower until all Sam could hear was some mumblings, like Dean was talking to himself, his eyes unfocused and his hand shaking slightly.

Sam cautiously reached out and touched Dean's shoulder tentatively. When he didn't get any sudden reaction, he slowly pulled his brother closer and rubbed his shoulder and squeezed his neck, trying his best to loosen the tension.

They sat like that for a while until Sam felt Dean had stopped shaking. He whispered, "So it was like one very long night?"

Dean remained quiet for a few more seconds. "One endless night." he sighed finally. "Time just didn't have any meaning. It felt like years, decades, even. But you can't really say how long I was there. I-" he closed his eyes, the memory was clearly too painful. "They wouldn't stop, it wasn't like on earth. They wouldn't get tired. I couldn't risk sleeping. It wasn't like I needed to eat to shave or pee." he chuckled and somehow it sounded so off. "But exhaustion and pain wouldn't go away."

"You didn't sleep at all?" Sam was shocked.

"Oh I did. I _had_ to. I didn't really want to, but there were times that unconsciousness would take me under."

"Where was Cass?" That was one important question.

"Here and there." Dean said, sotto voce. "His power started to fade after a while. Currently, all he could do was zapping us around and not even three times in a row. I gotta-... I mean we, _we_ gotta find him. I'm sure he's somewhere out here, too."

"We will." Sam reassured his brother.

Dean merely nodded and took another gulp from his beer. He was again getting drowned in his thoughts when Sam talked.

"Dean, you've so many scars on your body. And these seizures... What... What happened?"

"Don't ask." Dean got up from the bed.

"Dean."

"Sam, No. You wanted to know about it, I told you. The rest is not important." Dean said firmly.

"How could you say that? Of course it's important. I need to know."

"No you don't." Dean retorted grimly. "There's no point in talking about it." he looked around the room for the first time. "I need to take a shower. Do you still have my clothes?"

Sam sighed, knowing that their discussion was over for now, but he also knew that pushing Dean wouldn't do them any good; so he decided to give in and let his brother be, for the time being. "Of course I have them. Give me a minute. Your duffel bag is in the Impala's trunk." he said and walked out of the room to get their stuff.

...

They kept going like that for over a week.

Sam didn't bring up the subject of Purgatory again and didn't even talk about hunting.

The truth was that both brothers needed rest and while Dean found it hard to get back on track in just one week- _probably a lifetime wasn't going to be enough_, he had thought- he knew that it could be helpful for his brother.

Dean, himself, tried to sleep more, but at nights, even though Sam was there, Dean was usually awake. His conscious mind would tell him that they were safe there and he could sleep, but his subconscious mind just wasn't ready and wouldn't let him drift away for more than a minute or two.

Sleeping was more torturous that staying awake and keeping vigil.

While asleep, every single sound would make him jump and that was if he could ignore all the nightmares and frightful things he saw when his eyes were closed.

So after a couple of tries, he decided to give up on sleeping at nights; it simply wasn't worth the rapid heart rate and shortness of breath, needless to say that he was already in a rather fragile frame of mind. He really didn't want to kill someone just because he was jumpy.

Instead, he opted for sleeping during the day and even though every sound would still wake him up, he at least wouldn't jump out of the bed, ready to kill.

He knew that Sam was there and that was good enough for him to help him go back to sleep.

Fortunately Dean had managed to get a firmer grip on himself and hadn't let Sam startle him again and there had been no other seizures, so he decided to call it a reaction to massive stress and forget about it.

The past six months hadn't been the best for Sam, either.

He might not have had countless number of monsters to struggle with, but he'd worn himself out trying to find a way to get his brother out of that hell. Funny, they both had been to hell and from the little things that Dean had told Sam about purgatory, Hell sounded like such a better place.

He was glad that Dean seemed calmer and hadn't have another seizure; he would still have an eye on his brother to make sure he was taking care of his wounds and wouldn't get too lost in his thoughts, though.

He knew that his brother had problems getting to sleep at night, so he tried to give him some space and be quiet so he could get some rest during the day. It was better than nothing; after all, Dean had never been one to sleep for too long. A few hours of sleep had always been enough for him.

Sam could finally sleep at nights and after a very long time, he was actually feeling better every morning. Dean's presence alone was all the reassurance he needed.

Finally after one week he could see that Dean was clearly fidgeting, it seemed like there wasn't enough air in the room for him.

He would get out a lot and although Sam knew that Dean had missed sun and the breeze and even the stars at night, he knew that lately Dean was leaving merely because he wasn't used to stay still for too long.

And that was Dean _before_ experiencing the damn Purgatory.

Only God knew what he'd be like after spending such a long time in a place like Purgatory, hunting the cruelest and most dangerous monsters ever, off and on.

Heck, it must be really boring for him to just sit on a bed and check the TV channels.

Dean liked the calmness of their surroundings and was enjoying it; it was great to see human beings everywhere and if it wouldn't have been awkward, he would've stared at them for as long as possible; but even _that_ was getting old fast.

He was itching to hunt.

He didn't want to push Sam, knowing that his brother needed his rest and honestly after the latest accidents around Sam and Kelly, he wasn't too eager to push himself too hard, either.

He wasn't about to risk Sam's life in a stupid boring hunt, just because he was too jumpy or expected more than a ghost to show up. So he'd waited and remained quiet, until Sam finally talked about it.

He happily had accepted the challenge and they started to go hunting the supernatural SOBs in the middle of the night and just like what Dean had expected, it was way too boring!

Seriously? Going out and making so much effort to just get rid of a _ghost_? Or exorcise ONE demon? Where the hell were the rest of them? And boy, they were way weaker on earth.

Dean needed more.

He'd once brought that up and Sam had looked at him incredulously. So he'd just shrugged and accepted the fact that he wasn't going to get more, here on earth. Maybe it was better this way...

Well, yeah, of _course_ it was better this way, but he couldn't help feeling restless now that he was back to normal. Seemed like it was going to take some getting used to! Again!

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**... TBC ...**

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_**A/N: Thanks for your support and encouraging words. Your comments made my day!:D  
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**_Let me know what you think of this chapter? :) You can't possibly think that everything is back to normal, can you? *evil grins*_  
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	7. Chapter 7

Two weeks later after they got back from hunting a skin-walker and were about to leave the town for good, Sam turned towards his brother, turned the radio off, _which really annoyed Dean because listening to his songs was one of the things he'd missed the most_, and asked about Purgatory again.

"Dean?"

Dean sighed, he knew it. He knew that Sam wouldn't leave that subject alone; he wasn't that lucky, after all.

"I wanna know." Sam said in his defense, fully aware of what his brother's sigh meant.

"Know what?" Dean eyed the radio, contemplating about turning it back on.

"How did you kill those monsters down there?"

"Who said I killed them?"

"You didn't kill them?" Sam asked bewildered.

"No, Purgatory is the final ultimate destination." Dean glanced at Sam. "Every monster that dies on earth goes to Purgatory. How can you kill something that's already dead? It's like killing a spirit in hell or heaven. Impossible."

"Then how?" Sam frowned.

Dean rolled his eyes. "How what?"

"How did you manage to survive? What did you do to them?"

"Exactly what you said, I just managed to survive." Dean shrugged.

"How?" Sam pushed.

"I couldn't kill them. At first I'd try to run, but they were fast. Too fast. Good thing Cass was sill powerful, back then." He chuckled bitterly. "God knows how many times he brought me back when I was almost dead before I learned how to fight."

Sam shivered at that thought, his brother had almost died _many_ times and he was talking about it like it wasn't even a big deal. He stayed silent, though, willing his brother to continue.

"I still couldn't kill them, but I had learned some tricks that would slow them down, and then I could escape and hide. It was their territory, but they didn't know every corner and most of them are more stupid than we thought."

"So, every monster goes there?"

"Uh-huh."

"Did you, I mean-... Well, were there any-"

"Familiar faces?" Dean helped.

Sam nodded.

"No." Dean answered. "But that's just because they didn't have any real face there."

"Huh?" Sam scratched his nose. "So they were familiar, but they weren't?"

"You could say so. The first few... Umm, months?" Dean looked unsure; it was hard to talk about the time when there wasn't any real measure. "I couldn't see any differences between them. They were all monsters to me. Some bigger, some smaller. Some could fly, some couldn't. Little by little I started to see the differences and then I categorized them and named them."

"You had fun, huh?" Sam tried to loosen the tension.

"I had to survive." Dean shrugged, not really in the mood to joke. "There... There were days when-" he sighed. "There were days that I just wanted to give up, but I couldn't. I wanted to-" he glanced at Sam and gave him a tired smile. "I really wanted to see that ugly face of yours again."

Sam faked an annoyed growl, but in reality he felt his chest tightened with both happiness and sadness. His brother had endured greatly in his efforts to fight and survive but hadn't gave up, just because of _him;_ his heart swelled with happiness and pride; it was just then that he noticed that Dean had pulled over and was once again staring into the space.

"You were talking about familiar faces. Who did you meet?" he asked cautiously, not wanting to startle Dean in case he was too lost in his thoughts.

Dean blinked and turned his gaze to Sam. "What? You're missing them? You know, a few of them send a hello." Dean smirked.

Sam wrinkled his nose. "Yeah, missing them like a hole in the head. Who said hi, exactly?" he smirked back.

"Umm, actually there were a lot of them." Dean rubbed his neck and narrowed his eyes. "We've killed many monsters, you know? I actually didn't know that until I faced them there. Vamps, shifters, werewolves, ghouls, demons, hell even angels like Zach and Uriel. Many things. Oh and Gordon."

"Angels? Gordon? Really?" Sam's eyes widened.

"Yeah, well, they should go somewhere after they die! Boy, they really enjoyed torturing me. Those bastards." Dean sighed and closed his eyes, realizing a second too late that he'd said too much. "I saw Ruby." Dean said quietly, still not sure how his brother would react, but he wanted to know if Sam was really over it.

Sam's face turned a whiter shade of pale and gulped.

Dean grinned slightly. "She was bitchier there! Guess she still couldn't believe she was dead. That arrogant bitch. I thanked her for her knife, though."

Sam just blinked in confusion, wasn't Dean mad? Ruby was something that would always irritate him.

"It was years ago, Sam." Dean reassured his brother.

_'Funny, shouldn't it be me calming him down?' _Sam thought and smiled wryly.

"I met Dick many times." Dean decided to give Sam a break. "If we thought he was powerful up here, we clearly had no idea how powerful he could be down there."

"Did he hurt you?"

"No, he invited me to a tea party." Dean said sarcastically.

Sam winced. _'Stupid question.'_

Dean rolled his eyes and answered like he could read his brother's thought. "Whatever, man."

"You still don't remember how you got out?" Sam asked, the question was eating him up.

"Not sure. We would check the doors every now and then. The last time we checked we found one of them cracked. They weren't like the doors out here that you can just break them but that crack was all we needed. Well, according to Cass." He shrugged. "I think y_ou_ have made that crack."

"So, how did you get out?"

"Cass knew a funny chant." Dean laughed. "Man, that really sounded funny. Anyways," he stopped laughing abruptly. "He needed my blood and some kind of oil that he had to get from heaven."

Sam's eyes widened. "Wait a second. Cass was able to leave there?"

"Kinda. It was a one time thing. But he stayed there with me. He probably could've saved his ass and yet he chose to stay." Dean looked dejected, he truly was missing his friend and was beyond worried, and they still didn't have any signs from the angel.

"He couldn't risk it earlier, because the door was sealed and whatever he wanted to do wouldn't work." He continued after a few seconds. "When we found that crack, Cass was convinced that it was worth a shot. Turned out he was right."

"So? What happened next?"

"I'm not sure. The last few days there were hell. Or not. Hell is not _that_ bad." Dean looked away. "I had to keep _them_ away, so they wouldn't disturb Cass. He was weak after his trip to Heaven. He couldn't fight and we couldn't let any other monster leave there just because we were tired. So I kept them away while Cass did the ritual. At the end, we both were kinda thrown out of Purgatory and when I woke up, I was lying on the ground in the middle of a forest near Glenmoor. You know the rest."

Sam was dumbfounded.

First, he didn't expect Dean to be so honest and straightforward about the whole situation and he sure didn't expect his brother to tell him everything, but then again, he hadn't asked about his fights or his scars, so that could be explicable.

And then, the way they had gotten out? "WOW." he uttered.

"Yeah, WOW." Dean turned the radio on and started the car. "Thanks by the way." he glanced at his brother, hi tone sincere.

Sam's bottom lip trembled slightly at the despondent look on his brother's face and the edge to his voice. "You're my brother, Dean; of course I'd try everything to save you. Sorry it took me so long."

"Don't be ridiculous. And for God's sake, don't start crying." he growled lightheartedly and started humming along with the music that was filling the car.

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**... TBC ...**

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_**A/N: Once again, thanks for your support, guys! :)  
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**_Tell me what you think of this chapter? About how Dean got out and what he'd seen in there..._  
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	8. Chapter 8

A couple of weeks later, they still had gotten nowhere in their search to find Cas. They just had to wait and hope that the angel was fine and would contact them when he felt like it. It wasn't the first time Cas had gone AWOL. He'd done that many times, before.

Things were almost back to normal between Dean and Sam; '_almost_' being the key word.

The problem was that now after another two weeks, even Sam was finding their hunts boring.

Not because he wanted some harder jobs, but merely because most of the times there was nothing for him to do.

Sometimes he felt like Dean had become too sharp. His brother could hear and see things that he didn't even know were there and although it was really cool at first, little by little it made Sam think that they needed more.

Of course, there were times that Dean would suddenly relapse. Physically and mentally.

He'd had two other seizures in the past two weeks and Sam was working on getting him to the hospital. But so far he hadn't been successful. If Dean was stubborn before his trip to Purgatory, he was downright pigheaded now.

And there were days when Dean would lapse into silence.

He wouldn't say more than ten words for hours, or would just space out with no reason.

Those were the days when Sam knew that Dean had had one of the _worst_ nightmares. Because who was he kidding? He knew Dean kept having nightmares every time he took even a nap; it was clear even if he wouldn't look at his brother's sleeping form.

But most of the times it wasn't that bad. Dean wasn't unfamiliar with having nightmares, he knew how to deal with them and Sam knew there was no use in asking about them. That would just lead to an argument.

There were times, though that the nightmares would get worse. Those times, after a few minutes of tossing around in bed, Dean would jolt awake, clutching his knife in his hand and ready to kill.

Sam had tried to wake his brother the first couple of times and the result wasn't anything interesting, so he finally realized that he needed to give Dean some time and space. He would try to call Dean's name if he was around. Try to somehow bring his brother's mind back from his very own hell, but he wouldn't touch Dean.

And those were the days when Dean would fall silent, and they would try to take it easy until Dean felt more stable. But sometimes they were in the middle of a hunt and had no choice but finishing it.

Today was one of those days and Sam had had enough. Dean looked really upset, he was pacing the room up and down, biting his lower lip.

"You need to talk to me, Dean."

Dean looked sharply at him.

"Seriously, Dean. I'm your only option. You can't tell any shrinks about our lives."

"Who says I need to talk?"

"Dean, come on. Face it. You're still suffering from what happened to you down there. It's affecting your life, our lives. You zoned out tonight. I'm sure you know how dangerous that was."

"Then we need to split up, Sam."

"What?" Sam's head snapped up. Of all the stupid things Dean could say...

"You're right. I'm putting you at risk." Dean turned around and stared his brother in the eyes, sadness evident in his green eyes. "Tonight, I could've got you killed."

"Dean-"

"No, Sam. I zoned out. I fucking zoned out in the middle of a hunt. I-" Dean shook his head. "That damn stupid sound." he sighed. "I couldn't help it, I heard it and it was like I was back down there and not just back, it was like I was trapped and when I heard your scream, which was _after_ I got hit by that damn thing, I snapped out of it so fast that my bullet could've killed _you_. It's not safe for you to be around me, Sam."

He looked damn determined and walked towards his duffel bag. Sam jumped up from his seat and blocked his way.

"Dean, No. Even in your hazed mind, you turned your gun away in time. You didn't hurt me."

"We got lucky, Sam. We got _lucky_." He yelled, stressing the last word. "What if we don't get lucky the next time? Huh? What if I'm too late tomorrow? What if-" suddenly his eyes rolled back in his head and he started to convulse even before he hit the floor.

Sam jumped forward and caught his brother just in time and once again just waited for the seizure to pass.

But this time it took way longer; he waited and waited and... Waited, but it seemed like it wasn't going to end. Finally when his brother's body stopped shaking, the clock on the wall showed that the seizure had lasted 5 minutes and 14 seconds.

Sam couldn't believe his eyes; he checked his own watch, hoping to see something different, and was shocked to realize that the seizure had really lasted too long this time.

That wasn't acceptable any more.

Sam checked for Dean's pulse and found it all over the place.

He didn't have any other choice; he had to get him to a hospital.

...

The smell was different.

It was somehow familiar, but Dean's tired mind couldn't place it. So he automatically slipped into hunter mode and was about to jump when Sam's voice reached his ears and then a reassuring pressure was on his arm.

Slowly Dean opened his eyes and looked up at his brother.

"You with me, Dean?" Sam knew what could happen if Dean's mind wasn't back to the reality.

After a second Dean nodded and Sam let go of his arm. "Wha-... 'happened?" he sounded hoarse. Taking a look around he realized where he was.

Hospital.

"You had a seizure. It lasted too long; I had to bring you to the hospital."

Dean frowned.

"They did some scans, but haven't told me anything yet." Sam shrugged.

"Alright." Dean nodded and closed his eyes. "I'm fine, though." he added to reassure his brother.

Sam sighed; he needed Dean to talk so they could get over it. "Dean. Please. Why are you so damn stubborn? I'm not gonna judge you."

"Judge me?" Dean's voice rose. "It's not like when I was in hell. I didn't do anything wrong."

"Dean." Sam groaned. "That's not what I meant. I just wanna help. Tell me what happened to you. Why is talking to me, your own brother, so hard? What's your problem?"

"You're one to talk." Dean turned his head to the other side so he wouldn't see Sam's face.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sam asked sharply.

"That means, Sam-" Dean looked back at his brother, "When you got back from hell, you wouldn't talk to me. And I'm not talking about when that damn wall in your head was still intact. When it came down, you could remember everything, but you wouldn't talk, wouldn't share, wouldn't say a word; and now you expect me to accept it easily when you wanna go all Dr. Phil on me? Thanks but no thanks."

"Dean."

"Enough."

"Dean look-"

"Sam, there's nothing we can do about it, now. Can't you see it? Talking about it will just make it worse. It's like I'll have to live it all over again. I can't Sam. Why is that so hard for you to understand?"

And that was when Sam saw it from another angle.

Dean was right.

Maybe he shouldn't push him to talk. Maybe he should just be there for is brother. Show him that he'd have his back, no matter what!

Dean had a point; he hadn't tortured any soul this time. This time he'd killed, no, not even killed, he'd _slowed_ down some creepy monsters and fought tooth and nail to survive. And that was what they did off and on and on a daily basis.

"Dean-" he opened his mouth to say that he could understand now, but Dean's face was turned away and couldn't see the sheer remorse in his brother's eyes.

"You should go, Sam." Dean didn't look back. "I'm not gonna put your life in any more danger, you either go now or _I_ will."

"Dean. I'm sorry. OK? You're right. I shouldn't have pushed it."

Dean turned his gaze to Sam. "Doesn't change the fact that you were right. Next time I zone out, we might-"

But then Dean fell silent and stared at Sam blankly for a few seconds before his body went rigid and suddenly he started to convulse again.

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**... TBC ...**

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**A/N: I'd love to know what you think. :)  
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**_Next chapter will be up soon. Hopefully! ;)_  
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******_Thank you everyone, for you encouraging words.  
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	9. Chapter 9

_"Dean. I'm sorry. OK? You're right. I shouldn't have pushed it."_

_Dean turned his gaze to Sam. "Doesn't change the fact that you were right. Next time I zone out, we might-"_

_But then Dean fell silent and stared at Sam blankly for a few seconds before his body went rigid and suddenly he started to convulse again._

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.

Sam was so shocked that didn't even realize when the nurses and Dean's doctor run into the room and pushed him aside, trying to help his brother. The seizure didn't last long, due to the meds they were giving Dean or whatever else they did; but afterwards, his brother was out of it again.

That was when it hit Sam.

Dean always had one of those seizures when he was too stressed or upset. He didn't know about Dean's first one, but every time that he'd witnessed one of Dean's seizures, it was after when Dean had got too upset.

Maybe that was the key, maybe if he could keep Dean from getting upset, his brother's seizures would stop happening.

Well, OK, that wasn't exactly an easy task, especially since Sam was sometimes too pushy and Dean was too stubborn and too hard on himself. But he could try. Right?

He kept reviewing every time that Dean had a seizure and went through different ways in his mind to keep Dean from getting too upset.

"Sam?" Dean's voice brought him back to the hospital room and he realized that he'd been lost in his thought for a while.

"Hey, You're gonna be fine. Just calm down, OK?" he said hastily.

Dean narrowed his eyes. "Actually, I'm pretty sure you look worse than I do at this moment. You alright?" Surprisingly, Dean didn't feel as groggy as he always did when waking up after having a seizure and decided to connect it to the drugs in his system.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I... Well, I think I know how to stop your seizures." Sam relied.

Dean's head was hurting, and not understanding what Sam's was saying was intensifying the pain. "What are you talki- Oh... The scan results back?"

"No."

"Yes."

Sam jumped a little when the second voice answered from the door.

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you." the doctor smiled.

"Ah, it's OK. So, tell us, doc. What's the problem?"

"Well, how are you feeling Mr. Adams?" the doctor asked as he started to check Dean's pupils using his penlight.

Dean winced only slightly. "Call me Dean, and I'm fine."

"I assume you have a headache, but that's to be expected." The doctor nodded. "As I said earlier, your test results are back."

"And it's not good, is it?" Dean narrowed his eyes; the doctor was avoiding the answer and it never was a good sign.

"To be honest we couldn't find anything; there isn't any significant problem in your scans. But too may blows to the head can cause several different reactions. Brain is a mysterious organ."

"If there's nothing wrong, why do you look like I'm gonna die in a week or so? And yes, I know the look on the doctors' face when they have to deliver that kind of news."

"I didn't say there's nothing wrong; well, you're not gonna die for sure, we can control it. But the fact that your scans don't show anything is worrisome; there shouldn't be any seizure without a good reason."

_'Huh, so he's just worried because _he_ can't understand what's going on.'_ Sam thought. _'Well, that's not bad; _I_ know what's going on. At least I think I do.'_

"So basically you're saying that I shouldn't have seizures but I do?" Dean questioned.

"I'm saying that... Well, yes, that's what I'm saying." The older man shrugged. "Your seizures can be manageable, though. We'll run some more tests but I'm positive that with anti-epileptic drugs you can have it under control."

"You mean I have epilepsy?" Dean actually looked a little terrified. "I... Um, my life isn't exactly... Um, stress-less."

"Look Mr. Ad-... Umm, Dean, I'm not gonna lie to you here; we don't know exactly what's going on and in my experience that's not good. I'd suggest you to have a new set of tests in a better-equipped hospital but you still can control your seizures. Of course, it's only advised that you try to lower the level of stress in your life, but the medication we give you can pretty much control the problem."

"What are the chances that there's something wrong and you haven't seen it yet?" Sam asked.

"Well, the chances are pretty high. That's why I'm worried. Head traumas can be rather tricky and blows to the head can always lead to a head trauma."

When neither Dean nor Sam said anything for a few seconds, the doctor decided to leave them to evaluate their risks and decide on precautions. "If you don't have any questions, I'll leave you alone for now."

Dean didn't say anything else and Sam thanked the doctor for his help.

Dean sighed, "When can I leave?"

"Soon, I guess." Sam answered. "Look, Dean. I told you that I know what's causing your seizures. I'm not saying the doctor is wrong, but well, I've noticed that you only have them when you're upset."

"Excuse me?" Dean looked genuinely confused.

"Every single time that I watched you have a seizure has been after a heated argument or when you feel upset about something that you think you've done wrong. I mean, you probably have received some hard blows to the head in Purgatory and your last experience must've been hard, physically and mentally. Maybe it's your brain's way to demand you slow down. Maybe the doctors can't see anything wrong in your tests, because there's nothing major wrong."

"What are you implying, Sam?"

"I think we just need to keep you from getting upset or too stressed."

Dean snorted.

"Yeah, I know it's not easy."

"I don't get _upset_, Sam." Dean insisted.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Sure, whatever you like to call it. Seriously, Dean, do you prefer to retire and sit around idly? You hardly lasted _one_ week and you were back from Purgatory and needed a lot of sleep and rest then."

"Shut up." Dean growled, not wanting to think about the time when he was too tired to move.

"My point is that we can take care of it. If you don't get upset and take your anti-epileptic drugs, then you wouldn't have to change your lifestyle."

"Sam, seizing has never bothered me really. Well, at least I'm not worried about it, unless I have one during a hunt and OK, your suggestion might help me with my seizures. Mostly. But what about the zoning out episodes? What about me being so jumpy? The other day I almost knocked that waitress out."

"I can help." Sam suggested.

"Sa-"

"Do you trust me, Dean?" Sam cut him off.

"Do you even need to ask it?" Dean rolled his eyes.

"Then let me help, OK? Look, I'm not gonna ask you any more questions that you don't like to answer and I'll try my best to keep you from zoning out."

"You can't do that on a hunt. You don't even know what triggers those episodes. Hell, _I_ don't know all of them. There are probably too many of them."

"We've been doing this for a month and it happened just once."

"Doesn't mean it can't happen again and next time I might not be fast enough." Dean looked away. Guilt was written all over his face.

"_You_ might not be fast enough? Dean, recently I think there isn't anything for me to do in our hunts just because you're too fast and too sharp. The only perk of spending some time in Purgatory, I guess?"

"And when I told you it was boring you looked at me like I've lost my mind."

"Well, excuse me for finding it unbelievable that when I'm working my ass off to adjust myself to your pace you come out and say it's too slow and too boring."

Dean growled something under his breath that Sam didn't catch, but the amusement on Dean's face wasn't hard to see.

"You have two options." Sam suggested. "Either we retire from hunting and find something else to do, something that won't worsen your situation; or we both keep hunting, together. I'm not going anywhere and I so am not gonna let you walk away."

"Like you can stop me."

"Dean, please." He knew he couldn't stop his brother if he really wanted to take off. "Let's give it another shot. Man, don't you think I need backup while hunting?"

"A backup is supposed to have your back, Sam, not to have siestas during the hunt."

"Dean, for God's sake. It was a one time accident. And it hasn't been even one month since you've been back. You're hurting physically and mentally and-" Sam held his hand up to stop Dean from interrupting him. "_And_ if you think I haven't noticed, then you're terribly wrong. I can see you wince and I can see you jump or zone out and except this last incident, they have never occurred during the hunts. I'm telling you, I will go and do every possible stupid thing that I can, if you walk away."

"Fine. But seriously, you've no right to complain the next time I try to strangle you. And it might not be after one of those stupid episodes."

"You won't. You'll miss me. You told me yourself, you waited too long to see me again."

"Well, I might get tired, as well. I tend to get bored or annoyed easily, these days." Dean smirked. "And you're too big for the trunk of Impala, now."

"Eww." Sam remembered the time when they were kids and Dean had locked him in the trunk of Impala to get rid of his whini-... Whatever. Sam shook his head. _Stupid Jerk_.

"Yeah." Dean chuckled.

"Impala's trunk isn't the only place that I've experienced."

"Not my fault you've always been a shrew."

"Shut up. So, do we have a deal?"

"You do realize that there shouldn't be any force behind a deal, right?" Dean yawned.

"So we have a deal."

"Next time I wake up, I want the nurse here instead of you." The older brother growled." She's cute, unlike you, and she doesn't make me feel like I'm talking to a wall."

"I'm sure that doesn't have anything to do with the number you've been trying to give her."

Dean cracked one eye half open and smirked. "Give me some credit, Bro. I haven't lost my touch. We're past that phase."

"Of course, you are. What was I thinking?"

"You weren't."

"Aww, God. What did I do? I could've gotten rid of you." Sam groaned.

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

"I might strangle you, too. Will you hold it against me if I do?"

"Nah, go ahead and try. See who wins."

Sam pouted and leaned back, his arms crossed over his chest.

Dean stifled his laugh but couldn't hide his smirk before drifting off.

Sam sighed in relief but shook his head and murmured a '_jerk_' under his breath before closing his eyes and dozing off in the chair beside Dean's bed.

He'd prayed and given almost his all just to experience this moment again.

It was the most precious thing in the world. For both of them.

**.**

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**-The End-**

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**A/N: OK, that's it! So what do you think? :)**

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_**After watching Comic-con and hearing all those spoilers, which I'm not gonna talk about here and now, I wasn't so sure about the way I ended this fiction! I mean, this is WAY different, but I hope you like it anyway.**_

_**Now, I'd really like to write something closer to what we're gonna see and use some of those spoilers! I just like to do so, doesn't mean I will!**_

_**What do you think? Should I give it a shot? :D**_

**Thanks for sticking with me. :)  
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